He Was Shocked at My Appearance

December 08, 2017

He Was Shocked at My Appearance

When Phil came over to my room, he was shocked at my appearance and the standard at which I was living.

I read a book one time about a former Jewish concentration camp prisoner. Through all of the atrocities, the one thing that sometimes people take for granted, is what they look like during adversity. At the end of the book, the man said he looked in the mirror and he didn't recognize the person looking back at him.

When I was struggling, and had nothing, I was also starving, waiting for that one meal a day from Julie's. I would lay in my bed all day listening to my stomach grumbling, trying not to exert myself to much so that I could save my energy for the two mile walk to Julie's apartment.

Looking back, I realize that I never really looked in the mirror. I knew my clothes were old, my sneakers were worn down and that I had no money in my pockets. But, to myself, I was the same person. I didn't see what the world was seeing. They were looking at the outside, but on the inside, I was striving to get out of my circumstances.

I had no time to look in the mirror. I had to look within myself, even though the world looked down on me. I wasn't going to let it beat me.

When the whole world seems like it's against you and everywhere you turn somebody's looking down at you, ready to kick you when you're down, you're best weapon is to rise above all the bullshit. You're best weapon against the world and every piece of shit muthafucker that kicked you when you were down, is massive success.